1
My wife S----- was raised in a mid-sized Midwestern city. She went to a small religious college there too. She had met only one person who came directly from a non-English- speaking country in her life, a non-traditionally aged young man from China whom she thought was by now an architect. He had enrolled in the little liberal arts college primarily, my wife-to-be had speculated, in order to learn English. His name was Albert Liu (pronounced "loo").
We lived for a number of years where I could find my first professional job, in Washington, D. C. After a couple of years, I learned of a professional conference in New York City that I could attend, expenses paid. S----- and I decided we couldn't afford to pass up the opportunity to make our first visit to the big metropolis. The only unbooked hotel with the conference rates was located rather a distance from the conference... but, after all, the conference was the excuse, not the reason for the whole trip. (Don't tell my boss.)
2
For weeks we plotted how we would spend every hour of our three-day, two-night visit. We would take the bus to get there from D. C. and get around the city on the subway. We expected to do a lot of walking, which we thought would have the advantage of letting us see "the real city."
One of our favorite neighborhood restaurants in the Washington suburb where we lived was "The Golden Buddha" featuring the standard Cantonese fare. Although both S----- and I had visited New York before we married, neither of us had ever gone down to Chinatown. We thought now that on our second night, it would be great to have dinner there in an authentic ethnic Chinese restaurant.
That must have been why I knew about Al Liu in the first place:
"Let's have dinner one night in Chinatown," one of us might have said.
"I knew a Chinaman once..." S----- would have said...
So we studied the subway map to find on our line the most convenient station to Chinatown. We'd go early so we could wander around a while. We might eat first, though, in order to avoid the dinner crowd.
3
When we came up from underground, I was a little concerned to see that everything around us was not in Chinese, but Italian. A quick consult of the pocket map, however, made us think Chinatown was a block uptown, bordering "Little Italy" on the downtown side.
Sure enough, it was just a block or two away. We sauntered around, ogling the storefronts, fingering the little trinkets at the sidewalk stands, and casually checking out the restaurants. We wanted to find a backstreet, not pretentious (i.e. pricey) place where "real Chinese" people were going to eat.
And after a bit, we spotted just the right place. When we peered though the windows, trying not to be boorish tourists, the only folks we could see looked Asian. No tablecloths, little tables crowded together... We were sure this was the perfect spot. The only trouble was, they told us inside, that they were full and didn't expect to be sure to have room for us for a couple of hours yet.
It was a Friday, which meant the crowd showed up right after work and would then be heading home after a little while. But, no problem, we'd come early on purpose so we could look around. We told the nice Chinese lady we would return.
4
It was still rather crowded when we came back, we thought, but they found a table for us back by the kitchen. All of us were sort of elbow-to-elbow. I was facing the kitchen. S----- was facing the front door some distance away.
When the Asian teenager brought the tea, he provided us with the menus. Till then, we had just been looking around at all the people. If we were not the only Anglos present, it was close to that.
As I began to glance at the menu, S----- said brightly, "Hey, there's Al Liu."
I snorted.
"No. It's really him."
"Where?" I turned around, still thinking there was a punch line coming.
"At the table near the corner," S----- said, "with that gorgeous Chinese woman."
Well, I didn't get the joke, and besides after all that time walking around, I was feeling pretty hungry.
"I'm going over to say Hello," S----- said.
"Oh no, S-----," I said as it dawned on me that she might be serious. "Don't you remember what everybody says?!" I know they didn't all look alike, but still...
"I'll just go say Hi," she said and made her way forward.
I buried my head in the menu, already embarrassed. How could she fall for that?
She didn't come back right away, and I relaxed a little. She must have thought better of it and gone on to look for the restroom. That would be a good cover.
Then, over my shoulder came S-----'s voice: "'Byron'?" and as I turned, "I'd like you to meet Al Liu!"
5
Yes, it was indeed her college acquaintance. He was an architect now. In fact, it turned out he didn't live in New York but was only there for a short visit... because he actually lived in D. C.!
And the pretty woman with him was his girlfriend, the reigning "Miss Chinatown."
... And if it had been me, I would not have gone over to say Hello.
***
