“No Problem” and Courtesy (essay)

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Consider the following exchanges:

1:
John: Hello, Margaret.
Margaret: Hi, John. How are you?
John: Fine, thanks; you?
Elizabeth: Fine.
John: What’s new?
Elizabeth: Nothing much.

2:
Lois: May I help you?
Stephen: Do you have any ______?
Lois: Yes, right over here.
Stephen: Thank you.
Lois: You’re welcome.

Conventional, polite, pleasant enough, right?

Now consider this revision to the first conversation:

1 A:
John: Hello, Margaret.
Margaret: Fine.
John: How are you?
Margaret: Nothing much.
John: Fine thanks. What’s new?
Margaret. Hi, John.

The replies here are responses to the wrong questions, right?

And how about this revision to that second conversation?

2 A:
Lois: Did you find what you needed?
Stephen: Yes. I’d like to buy this ______, please.
Lois: Oh, good.
Stephen: And thank you for your help.
Lois: No problem.

This conversation ends with a response to the wrong question just as surely as all the replies in conversation 1 A. Thank you is a statement indicating the speaker’s appreciation for something the other person has done. There are, of course, more than one appropriate response to Thank you. Consider these possibilities:

You’re welcome – This conventional reply indicates it was appropriate for Stephen (in conversation 2) to expect Lois to do what she has done. It turns the conversation back to Stephen’s wants and needs, which is as polite as Stephen’s Thank you, since the response is also about Stephen.

I’m glad you found what you wanted – Although this reply does not comment on the appropriateness of Stephen’s request for help, it is still a pertinent and polite response to his Thank you. It is still more polite as it indicates Lois’s own pleasure in Stephen’s being satisfied.

My pleasure to serve you – This reply goes beyond both You’re welcome and I’m glad you found what you wanted, since it indicates that not only did Lois find it appropriate for Stephen to ask for help; she actually appreciated the opportunity to be of service. The same would be true for Happy to oblige and I’m glad I could help.

Now, to what question or comment is the statement No problem an appropriate response? No problem indicates that, in the second speaker's mind, the person saying Thank you has just expressed concern for the second person. For instance, in the scene in conversation 2, Stephen might have said, “I’m sorry I didn’t know where to look for ______.” No problem would mean in that context, unless an insult were intended, that Lois understands how an intelligent customer might not have known where the ________ was in the store.

In a different context, Stephen might have said, I’m sorry to have troubled you. Maybe Lois had been engrossed in another project when he came in, which he had interrupted. By saying No problem, she would have been telling him, not rudely, that the interruption had not caused her a problem, as he evidently thought.

Appropriate uses of No problem as an uninsulting reply to Thank you only occur when the first speaker – in this case, Stephen - is talking about the other, Lois, and that she acknowledges that her experience is indeed the subject of the exchange. Comparable responses would include, Oh, that’s okay and You didn’t cause me enough trouble to be concerned about.

In other words, saying No problem in reply to Thank you is equivalent to saying, It was not much of a bother to help you. That’s not part of a polite conversation – and should absolutely never be said to a customer as in a store or a restaurant.

You see, in that kind of a situation, and in many other kinds of situation, saying No problem to a person who has just thanked you indicates that the person replying thinks the most important element in the transaction eliciting the Thank you was how much or how difficult was the work he or she has been required to do.

So, if we thank our waitress, and she or he says, No problem, should we reply, Oh, I’m sorry I made work for you?

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